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I'm Gonna Kill Santa Claus
3 years ago
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Top Ten New Years Quotes
1. "Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."
Benjamin Franklin
2. "The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective."
G.K. Chesterton
3. "The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!"
Edward Payson Powell
4. "Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
the year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850
5. "For Last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"
6. "New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
Mark Twain
7. "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
Oprah Winfrey
8. "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."
Edith Lovejoy Pierce
9. "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."
P.J. O'Rourke
10. "Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
Hal Borland
via
Benjamin Franklin
2. "The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective."
G.K. Chesterton
3. "The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!"
Edward Payson Powell
4. "Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
the year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true."
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1850
5. "For Last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
T.S. Eliot "Little Gidding"
6. "New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
Mark Twain
7. "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
Oprah Winfrey
8. "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day."
Edith Lovejoy Pierce
9. "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."
P.J. O'Rourke
10. "Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
Hal Borland
via
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Nasty
So I'm in the front bedroom, which is where I have the pull-up / chin-up, dip, and back hyper extension racks, and I'm doing business in there, then I start walking out. My cat, Bitey, blocks my path in the hallway. I'm like "Ok, nice cat!", expecting him to meow or otherwise beg attention, but he doesn't. He just looks up at me with big green cat eyes, then he cuts one.
This wasn't some little cat butt peep. It was a long, wet, gurgling ripper. It was as loud as if it had been my own handy-work, but it wasn't.
At that point, I'm speechless. Cat isn't looking for pets, isn't acting abnormally, he just walked up to me, blocked my walking path, looked up at me with those big green eyes, then ripped out a wet sounding fart.
Holy hell, what to do! Flipped on the hall light, and looked for the expected ejecta. Nothing there. Cat walks off, like nothing happened, and at that point I realized my cat had trolled me with a nasty fart-gram.
I think this cat has been well trained...
This wasn't some little cat butt peep. It was a long, wet, gurgling ripper. It was as loud as if it had been my own handy-work, but it wasn't.
At that point, I'm speechless. Cat isn't looking for pets, isn't acting abnormally, he just walked up to me, blocked my walking path, looked up at me with those big green eyes, then ripped out a wet sounding fart.
Holy hell, what to do! Flipped on the hall light, and looked for the expected ejecta. Nothing there. Cat walks off, like nothing happened, and at that point I realized my cat had trolled me with a nasty fart-gram.
I think this cat has been well trained...
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
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