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I'm Gonna Kill Santa Claus
3 years ago
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Friday, May 06, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Holy mother of...
So I'm sitting in my great room this evening, reading a novel and just minding my own business. A bit after 7:00 PM, I hear this *scratch, scratch, scratch* that indicates Bitey is burying turds in his litter box. No big deal. But the scratching continued, like he was trying to bury a Chevy Blazer or something.
I'm still all nonchalant about it, though. Cat has to crap, I have to clean the box, rhythm of life kinda thing. About two minutes into it, this smell hits me in the nose like the fist of an angry god from the underworld. It was worse than a beer and bratwurst crap in a porta potty in the middle of a NASCAR race in the heat of the summer. And I was probably 30 feet away from the scene of the crime.
I jump up, and am like "What the hell, dude!" I go running into the sun room, where Bitey's box rests, and he sorta slinks out as I cross the threshold. He has this look on his face like "I, sir, have eclipsed all prior efforts at making stink, I'm profoundly pleased with the effort, and you just have to deal with it."
I get in there and, well, it was buried. Made no difference. Stink radiated off the dirt rockets like radiation off the compromised Japanese nuclear plants. The house was rendered damn near uninhabitable by it.
Scooped, bagged, and taken out to the can by the curb, for morning pick-up. I just have to say, my cat seems to have a super power I wasn't aware of prior to this evening. Small black and white cat, *huge* stink.
I'm still all nonchalant about it, though. Cat has to crap, I have to clean the box, rhythm of life kinda thing. About two minutes into it, this smell hits me in the nose like the fist of an angry god from the underworld. It was worse than a beer and bratwurst crap in a porta potty in the middle of a NASCAR race in the heat of the summer. And I was probably 30 feet away from the scene of the crime.
I jump up, and am like "What the hell, dude!" I go running into the sun room, where Bitey's box rests, and he sorta slinks out as I cross the threshold. He has this look on his face like "I, sir, have eclipsed all prior efforts at making stink, I'm profoundly pleased with the effort, and you just have to deal with it."
I get in there and, well, it was buried. Made no difference. Stink radiated off the dirt rockets like radiation off the compromised Japanese nuclear plants. The house was rendered damn near uninhabitable by it.
Scooped, bagged, and taken out to the can by the curb, for morning pick-up. I just have to say, my cat seems to have a super power I wasn't aware of prior to this evening. Small black and white cat, *huge* stink.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
More grilling pr0n
So that was last night's supper, and it was awesome! Only down side to it is that I gave my cat Bitey the fat I trimmed off it. Now today he won't even eat his favorite canned cat food, figuring he can hold out for something better. Also, last night was the first time I've ever heard him vocalize while eating. When he was munching down the trimmed off fat, he was seriously going "nom, nom, nom" out loud.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Well played, Mr. President!
via
Sunday, May 01, 2011
More BBQ pr0n...
Cooked these baby back pork ribs on my pellet grill today. I borrowed Alton Brown's rub recipe, but otherwise went my own way with how I cooked them.
I first took the rack of ribs and removed that pesky membrane on the bone side. After that, a liberal dusting all over with said rub, then into the fridge, wrapped in saran wrap, for several hours. After that, onto my grill, set to high, for about 15 minutes at 400F. After that, 4 hours of smoking at a bit over 200F. All of this was done using hickory pellets. The end result is pictured below.
When I was removing the ribs from the grill with tongs, the rack just split in half because the meat was so tender. I let them cool down for a bit, sampled them, and they ROCKED! The hickory smoke flavor had completely penetrated the meat, and it was a light pink inside.
They were the smokiest ribs I've ever had outside of my favorite local dive rib shack. The roof of that place collapsed during storms about a month ago, and they have not reopened. So I finally had to take matters into my own hands.
Replace the rib shack? Eh, not so much. Their rub is better, so if they ever re-open, they'll still get my business unless I finally reverse engineer said rub. But these were about 1000 miles past anything you'd get at Chili's, or at any BBQ place you'd feel comfortable walking into without an armed escort.
I first took the rack of ribs and removed that pesky membrane on the bone side. After that, a liberal dusting all over with said rub, then into the fridge, wrapped in saran wrap, for several hours. After that, onto my grill, set to high, for about 15 minutes at 400F. After that, 4 hours of smoking at a bit over 200F. All of this was done using hickory pellets. The end result is pictured below.
When I was removing the ribs from the grill with tongs, the rack just split in half because the meat was so tender. I let them cool down for a bit, sampled them, and they ROCKED! The hickory smoke flavor had completely penetrated the meat, and it was a light pink inside.
They were the smokiest ribs I've ever had outside of my favorite local dive rib shack. The roof of that place collapsed during storms about a month ago, and they have not reopened. So I finally had to take matters into my own hands.
Replace the rib shack? Eh, not so much. Their rub is better, so if they ever re-open, they'll still get my business unless I finally reverse engineer said rub. But these were about 1000 miles past anything you'd get at Chili's, or at any BBQ place you'd feel comfortable walking into without an armed escort.
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